I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
