i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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