there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
