Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
