Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize