you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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