so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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