My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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