I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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