In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
