i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
