I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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