shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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