I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
