I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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