Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I look better un-naked...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
