One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you didnt know i had herpes?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
