My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
