i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
