After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
