I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
