Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
