Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
