what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
