New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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