no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
