Banned from zoo.
Again?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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