But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
