It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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