so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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