if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Found the puke drawer
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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