I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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