Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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