super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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