i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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