I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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