i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
