Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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