Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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