There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
