let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
wow bdsm is so cute
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
