i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
