holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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