if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
