you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
