He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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