i would punch a child for taco bell
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Success! We fucked roommates!
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