He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
