Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
