I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I forget how to act sober
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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