tell your sister to shave her snatch
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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