so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
