he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
