dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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