Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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