No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.