im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs