I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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