Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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