I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
