dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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