Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
