Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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